Love languages are the specific ways people prefer to give and receive affection. An individual’s love language represents the way they feel most connected with those they care about. Based on a poll sent out to numerous students, the most popular to least popular of the five love languages are as follows: quality time, a three-way tie between words of affirmation, gift giving/receiving, and physical touch, and lastly, acts of service.
Quality time is a love language that is about being in the presence of a loved one which can look like tagging along on a grocery shopping trip with a friend or having a study date with a partner. Words of affirmation can be represented by telling someone they are a fun person to be around, sending them inspirational or heartwarming quotes, or telling them song lyrics that are a reminder of them. Gift giving or receiving is shown by making personalized presents for people or just buying them a coffee on the way to school/work. Physical touch can look like hugging someone, giving a massage, or brushing their face with a hand. Acts of service are simple things a person can do for someone else to make their life easier like make their breakfast, do chores for them, or pump their gas. Below are some questions about love languages sent out to anonymous sources along with their corresponding answers.
Why is it important to know your love language?
“I think it’s important to know your love language because it’s how you express and receive affection and can be very important for relationships of any kind.”
“It makes it easier for the people that love you to show they love you in the ways that you prefer.”
“When I learned the love languages of my children, everything suddenly made sense to me. It was a PERFECT explanation to how they acted as well as reacted.”
Why is it important to know the love languages of people you care about?
“It’s very important to me to know the love languages of the people in my life. It’s almost like a huge hint as to what can help you in your relationship with them. If someone I love is upset or needs cheering up, I can easily figure out what needs to be done to help them in the proper manner if I know their love language.”
What does your love language look like for you?
“For me, my love languages are all about connection. I don’t just like physical touch because I’m a loving person, or enjoy words of affirmation because it’s nice to hear. It’s more about the connection and the intent of comfort and love behind it. Simple things as a pinky promise or being reassured are really important in a relationship in my opinion. It builds a connection between people that allows vulnerability and a type of emotional expression that feels exclusive and special.”
“I want my boyfriend to be around me all the time. 24/7. If he isn’t constantly around me or trying to see me every chance he can, I don’t feel as loved. I physically crave quality time with him, as well as friends of mine. If you aren’t wanting to hangout with me then why are we friends?”
What is your favorite way you’ve expressed love using your love language?
“Every single day, I write my boyfriend a front and back letter. Writing is a huge part of my life, so I can really put the words of affirmation I’d like in these letters. Whether it’s a full blown letter expressing my gratitude and appreciation for him, or just me going on about my day and the things going on around me, I still write them. It’s nice knowing that I’m able to provide him reasurance and a reminder of the relationship we’ve built. He keeps them in this little wooden box I made for him, so he can go back and reread them whenever he needs. I think that’s my favorite part about writing them. I love knowing he has a part of me with him even when I’m not there.”
“My favorite way that I’ve expressed love using my love language was when I bought my sister a phone case that had a picture of our dog on the back. I’ve never seen her so happy and in love with a gift.”
“I’m always making things for those I love. Whether it’s a card or something I crochet. It’s a way that I show that I spent time making something.”
What is your favorite way you’ve expressed love in a way that isn’t typically your love language?
“I like simple and small acts of service that can help the people I care about like cleaning their room or organizing something for them. If I can make their life easier by just a little bit, then it makes it all worth it.”
“My favorite way I’ve expressed love in a way that isn’t typically my love language is writing letters. I’m not usually good at verbally expressing my feelings but letters make it so much easier to get my thoughts out.”
“I have a slight problem with spending money on my best friend and boyfriend. Receiving gifts is in no way my love language; I actually get quite overwhelmed when people get me things. But I just love being able to buy them gifts, or gas, or food. It’s the simple things I try to pay for so they can have more money to buy things they like and not have to worry about the other things.”
“I don’t normally use physical touch, because some people hate it and some people love it, but there was one time my friend was really down and depressed and I just sat there for a while giving her a hug, which felt really nice.”
“I give reassurance and compliments when needed. I’ve never been big on words but I know words are important for overthinkers.”
Seeing how differently everyone expresses and prefers to receive affection can give insight into how people are able to make those they care about feel loved. Communicating these needs and understanding how each person loves can help greatly to resolve relational disconnections between family members, romantic partners, and friends. Click the link below to take a free quiz to learn your love language.
