Domestic abuse, also known as “intimate partner violence,” affects every one in four women and every one in thirteen men in the state of Texas. It can be defined by any situation where one or both partners are in the relationship and use it solely to gain power. Domestic violence can be expressed in any way including physically, emotionally, sexually and even economically. 

Anyone can be a victim of domestic violence. While the most common type is that of a partner using the intimate relationship to gain power and manipulate the other, unfortunately another common type is that of a parent manipulating and abusing their child/children. Another common type is a variation of intimate partner violence but where the female is targeted because of her race. This happens a lot with Muslim women, who are targeted most commonly by Muslim or white men. 

If any of these questions earned a “yes,” you are not alone. Don’t ever be afraid to report or leave your partner. In cases of parents abusing children, reach out to another family member. Always remember it is not your fault, and it never will be, regardless of what they say to you. If you ever need help understanding why your situation is happening, take a look at the Power and Control Wheel. It outlines the abusive patterns and behaviors. Some of the most commonly used behaviors on the wheel are male privilege and threats. Often, the abusive partner is a male and will use that to his advantage. He may say things like, “I’m the man of the house; you will do what I say.” or sometimes even, “If you don’t listen to me I will leave you.” While domestic violence happens to everyone, it is no secret that women are often pushed aside or laughed at when they report abuse, so it makes sense that a man would use this fact to his advantage. Along with this is the common use of threats like, “If you leave me I’m going to kill myself.” Unfortunately, this is one of the most commonly used threats.

There are ways to identify abuse in general, and then there are ways to identify specific types of abuse. To identify emotional abuse, ask these questions: